Revolve This, You Bastards

Earlier this week I attended a training for work that was located at one of our buildings in Tukwila. Since I managed to get myself unbelievably lost and arrived an hour later than I would have had I just taken the exit I had initially thought was right, I found myself rushing through the sliding doors unaware of my surroundings. I did note that many people in the lobby were looking oddly at me, but I assumed this was due to my young age and being a brand new unknown employee.

Fast forward to the end of the day. Glad to be leaving I headed towards the front doors again and this time noticed that in between the sliding doors was an evil foreboding revolving door, and on each of the sliding doors was a sign that read “Conserve Energy: Use revolving door.” Well for those who know me, I have a slight fear of revolving doors. I think I am afraid that someone will come up behind me and either try to ride in my “wedge” thereby encroaching on my bubble, or they will push too hard and not give me enough time to safely exit on the other side. I am also of course absurdly afraid it might stop working as I’m trapped in the middle (or maybe an older sister would trap me) and there I would be, like an animal caught in a trap for everyone to stare at through the glass.

Needless to say, I try to avoid the doors when I can, but I also try to pretend my fear isn’t there. I’ll usually just forge ahead and get it over with, always relieved to arrive on the other side just fine. So here I was facing a dilemma. Now aware that the staring earlier in the day had been due to the fact I, a healthy young thing, had used the electric sliding doors instead of the revolving door, I found myself forced to do as they asked.

And so I pushed forward into the door, holding my breath and cursing the woman who had appeared from nowhere behind me and was definitely pushing a bit too hard for my comfort level, then spilled myself out on the other side. Safe and sound. As I walked away from the door towards the parking lot, the electric sliding door was triggered by my weight and opened as if to laugh at me.

So I ask you this, whose energy were we conserving? Certainly not mine.

(Sidenote: I tried to see if there was an actual phobia for this and all I could find was another poor soul who had tried searching for the same thing to no avail and therefore decided to name the phobia herself. She calls it “Orbitagoraphobia.”)

17 thoughts on “Revolve This, You Bastards

  1. maria says:

    I think that the people who run this building set this up so that they could laugh at all the conscientious/politically correct NWerners. I had the same problem myself, minus the phobia, the first several times there. Turns out you have to walk a very wide arch around the doorway – way out of your way, or the sensors will open the door anyway. Essentially, you have to look like a dork either way. I, personally, am going to be very glad when our offices move to that building in June so that I will finally have access to the back door!

  2. Joey says:

    The electric doors were put there for a reason! What ever! Stand up to the man! (I must say…I do feel people are staring at me as if I’m a lazy fool who can’t open a door when I go out of my way to use the electric doors as stores…ahh…screw em!)

  3. Christy says:

    Oh poor baby! It must have been awful for you! next time just use the electric doors and if they stare at you just tell them you have Orbitagoraphobia….you will thoroughly confuse them and they will forget all about you using the electric door. It would be interesting to see how much energy is used to open an electric door…are they really conserving that much?

  4. sarah says:

    I feel your pain Katie. I have a fear of revovling doors, for all the same reasons(Big sisters) a fear of ferris wheels and the supermarket confuses the hell out of me.

  5. johnny says:

    Another A+ entry, Frau toft! Personally, I’m the kind of person who goes round and round in those doors until i get dizzy or security forcably ejects me from the premises 🙂

  6. Mark says:

    That does sound like a scary story, actually. I mean, they made you go down to Tukwila. I wouldn’t set foot in that place unless I absolutely had to. Ick.

  7. Aaron says:

    Poor, poor, neurotic little KT. 🙂

    You didn’t tell me you work with eco-weenies. Only an eco-weenie would install an electric sliding door and then put up signs scolding people for ussing it.

  8. Kris says:

    What is a fear of Tukwila called? Because I have that.

  9. Aaron says:

    No fair renaming your post and trying to make us think it’s a brand new one.

  10. Christy says:

    Yea, no fair!

  11. johnny says:

    i concur. no fair. 🙂

  12. kt says:

    But it was such a bad title before. I needed to change it. 🙂

  13. Kris says:

    Oh look, Katie left a smiley face. That makes it all better. 🙁

  14. Christy says:

    KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It has been a whole week! Post something….or I will tell everyone about your dream to be a professional cheerleader!

  15. sarah says:

    I wanna hear more about this dream? Raiderette or Cowgirl?

  16. KT says:

    Lies! Lies! All of it! Or maybe that’s why I played Field Hockey. Wear the skirt, but stay the jock. Hmmm…was it all a farce?

  17. susie says:

    I too share your fear. The first time I saw one of those doors I was 8 and I just followed my Dad blindly through, and the door smacked me on the head. It was, needless to say, a memorable experience. Those doors are evil. Use the sliding one.

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