Onalaska, Wisconsin
Wisconsin is a lot prettier than I expected it to be. I had already visited the eastern side of the state with Jeff, but I hadn’t noticed how many rolling hills and trees and beautiful farms made up the state. And the Amish. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten stuck behind a horse and buggy on long roads where you can’t pass. It’s really hard to make your minivan go 5mph. And folks, that is officially how fast a horse and buggy go. Trust me.
Speaking of the Amish. Can someone fill me in on what they believe? Because apparently they will ride in a car if someone else drives it and I saw a group of Amish kids playing with nerf baseball bats and such. I wish I had a camera and could have sneaked a picture, because seeing these kids in their drab clothing in front of their little farm swinging the flourescent orange bats and throwing the big bright yellow nerf balls was quite the sight.
I’ll tell ya what the Amish believe in, baby: WIFE SWAPPING. All those drab clothes and outward signs of chastity and piety are nothing more than a cover for an enormous orgy cult. And they’re all bi, too. Everybody’s diddling everybody else’s wifes and husbands….at the same time!!! They’re always on the lookout for new converts, too. They especially like short, foul-mouthed, bossy blondes. Don’t stray too close! Or you’ll get sucked down into their fiendish clutches and we’ll never see you again.
I knew it! They were definitely eyeing me. I’ll have to act submissive and dye my hair. But man, it’s hard to turn the bossiness off. Oh well, maybe I’ll like being Amish.
katie, you know if you take an Amish person’s picture, you steal their soul..
I know, I made Susie watch to make sure he didn’t turn around and see me steal his soul. 🙂
My dad’s wife LOVES the Amish (which is a good reason why I don’t love her). What I’ve gleaned from her is that they aren’t too keen on electricity and believe that when the end of the world comes toasters will attack us, or something. But they eat meat! Kill the animals, but God forbid they have a telephone. Except, once the phone became such a necessity, the family my dad’s wife knows decided along with their community that they should be allowed to have a village phone. Then they decided that it was such a long walk and since Ishmael was hogging it, everyone could have a phone on his or her property. Then, because it rains a whole lot and gets kind of cold in Indiana, they could have phones in their houses, as long as they didn’t like them too much. Bleh. Also, the girls don’t brag about their boyfriends cars, they brag about their buggies. It’s all about bending the rules until they’re just about to break. As long as they all smell like horses. Welcome home Katie!
how would someone convert to amish
I’ve always wondered that too. Can one convert to Amish?
People are we really this boring????????????????????