As you know, I have a thing about bathrooms. Working in Redmond this month, when I visit the restroom (delicately put) I keep using the first stall. If you recall from my previous entry, I usually prefer the second stall. So yesterday I realized that my whole decision to use the first stall was based on false observations.
The first time I entered this bathroom I thought there were two stalls. The first stall, normal size (which is small, we’re talking “knees hitting the door” small), then the second stall, a disabled stall (lusciously large, begging for a loveseat and barista service). But as I said, my whole day to day bathroom visits for the last three weeks have been shaken up a bit, because I discovered I was overlooking a second stall in between the first and the disabled ones. How could this be? How could I have glazed over a second stall, a stall I normally seek out?
At this point I realize I can’t change what I’ve been doing, so I am continuing to use the first stall. It’s my stall now. If I switched stalls I feel I would be insulting the first stall, as if to say, “My ass has found better space.”
But wait, this isn’t why I’m writing this entry. I want to discuss the disabled stall. I never use a disabled stall unless I need to change clothes (which is hard because you never want your stuff to touch the bathroom floor) or if there is a long line in the bathroom and that’s the next one open (and even then I only do it because the people behind me pressure me into it). Why you ask? I’ll tell you why.
Once upon a time, I was waiting my turn in line. You know, the typical 30-women-long line at say a movie theatre, baseball game, or Air Supply concert. So I’m successfully avoiding eye contact with anyone and trying not to catch my reflection in the mirror, when a woman in a wheelchair rolls by us all. She pulls up to the disabled stall and waits for the woman in there to exit. What do you think happens next? If you are guessing that the woman in the stall walks out on her own two feet, unencumbered by crutches or a wheelchair, very much healthy and able, and if you are guessing that the woman in the wheelchair begins to lecture the entire line of us about how the disabled stall is only for the disabled and how dare we have the audacity to use this stall, and if you are guessing that we all hung our heads in shame knowing we have all used those stalls without abandon in our lives, then my dear, you have hit the nail on the head.
So here I am today in a small restroom, hovering over my non-disabled toilet, now fully aware there is another non-disabled stall available, when I hear a perfectly abled woman go into the disabled stall. I’m torn. General bathroom protocol is do not go into the stall right next to an occupied one if you can help it, but what if the only other option is the disabled stall?
Are we to believe that disabled bathroom stalls are the equivalent of disabled parking? I’ve tried to theory this out, working in all the variables, but I need guidance and opinions. Bring it on.
Ann Landers wrote about this. Use the wheelchair accessible stall. If there is someone in a wheelchair waiting, they should, of course, be given priority access to that stall. I am personally very comfortable using the wheelchair accessible stall – no guilt whatsoever. I would never park in a car stall designated for handicapped only parking. I don’t think it’s the same thing.
B
oh my god! I ONLY use the Roger stall. It’s pure luxury! And if there is a Roger waiting, they’ll only have to wait.. what… 5 minutes at most (if it’s a good poo)
Stall number one by the door scientifically has the most germs! Stall number two is like sitting in the center seat of an airplane, and we all know everyone avoids this seat. Stall three is typically the wheelchair accessible stall. When used you feel guilt beyond belief. These are all justifiable. But wait!! Boys have even more edict and protocol…we have URINALS!! My god..talk about bizarre. At least the stalls are walled in. Oh no…when all you have is trough to go in and a fella on either side of you rubbing elbows, minus the walls, NOW we have an issue to talk about.
I don’t mean to butt in, (I feel posting on a blog of a person you don’t personally know is like saying, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation…” in a public place. That said, I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I digress) but have you ever seen the parking lot of a Wal-Mart early on a sale day? I’ve been witness to all disabled spots being filled, mostly by the elderly, when a van with a wheelchair bound person pulled up. He proceeded to wait until a space opened up because the rest of the spots in the lot were too close together for him to use his chair lift. My point is that disabled parking places are for people who have difficulty moving long distances under their own power. Restrooms are for people who have to take care of some bodily functions in the immediate future. To me the woman you spoke of already has been accommodated by not having to wait in line. No one was preventing her from using the only facilities she could use (sauf the brief wait). Parking spots that are not properly placed and spaced actually prevent people from getting into a store. So in my opinion they are not the same thing.
I always use the disabled stall! I hate public bathrooms and would rather explode than use one but there are times when you just can’t hold it any longer….so disabled stall here I comeI figure I am kind of disabled because I have held it for so long I can’t walk correctly. Plus, the disabled stall has more room for hovering, which if you are at all intoxicated requires a lot of room!
I feel much better now about using the stall. I’ll probably still only use it if the others are unavailable, but at least I won’t feel sheepish walking out of there. JR, I agree with your argument that it is NOT like disable parking. Stop by here anytime. We welcome strangers!
RE: Your comment on my blog….you like Viognier, huh….try this one Big House White from Bonny Doon. If you look closely at the label you will see that it is the prison in Soledad…hence the name Big House. The grapes come from the numerous vineyards planted around the prison. Anyway, it isn’t 100% Viognier but it is delicious!
http://www.bonnydoonvineyard.com
Oh how I wish I would have been there to set the record for that lecturer. That stall was created so that she could use the restroom, and she should feel appreciative that she was able to cut in line to use it. I think the fact that she went to the front of the line is something I would like to lecture her about.
I ALWAYS use the disabled stall if it is available, but then again I am an uncivilized, scruffy nerf-herder.
I think it’s astounding that the woman in question actually believed that disabled stalls should go unused for the vast majority of the day. Certainly she should have priority for that stall, but to argue ONLY disabled folk should EVER drop trou in there is just plain petty and snooty.
You are sooo Hot!