As I mentioned on The Book of Drivel, I did away with my Dish Network. Which doesn’t just mean I cancelled the dish and switched to something else. It means, I cancelled cable altogether. All I have now is DVD’s and Videos if I want to watch something.

So let’s first look at the process of getting rid of it and then we’ll discuss further the why and now what of the situation. I called Dish Network and told them I wanted to cancel my service when the month I had already paid for ended. They asked me assorted questions such as, “Why are canceling? Can we offer you a better package? If this is about money, can we give you a smaller package?” To which I responded with, “I want to save money, sure, but mostly I just don’t want TV anymore.” The woman on the phone didn’t seem to understand this concept.

DW: “Well, I can offer you the smaller package which is only $29.95.”
KT: “I don’t think you understand. I DON’T WANT TV. No matter what the cost. It’s rotting my brain.”
After offering me a few more options to which I refused, she said,
DN: “Well we can put a hold on your account so when you want to turn it back on, you won’t have to pay the install fee.”
KT: “I won’t be turning it back on.”
DN: “Well, see how it goes with it turned off and when you start to miss it, we’ll have this hold on it.”
KT: “Yeah, you’re right. I might do something crazy like get stuff done, start reading, spend time with my friends and family. God that would be horrible.”
DN: “I’ll put you through to the cancellation department.” Cue Hold Music.

Good. Done. That was a month ago. So Thursday was the big day. I have been really excited for this day to come. Dreaming about all the reading and blogging and socializing and cleaning I could get done if I just didn’t have TV. (Sidenote: a friend said, why don’t you just unplug it while you are waiting for it to go off. Whatever. I don’t have that kind of self-control and I want to get my money’s worth. Which subsequently sparked this marathon of TV watching on my part. Especially since I needed to get through all my TIVO’d stuff.)

So Thursday morning I get a phone call. Guess who. Dish Network.

DN: “Is Mr. or Mrs. Toft there.”
KT: “This is Ms. Toft.”
DN: “This is Dish Network…I can offer you a smaller package…blah blah blah.”
KT: “I don’t want any other package. Nothing.”
DN: “May I ask which channels you watch when you do watch because some of the smaller packages have those channels.”
KT: “It doesn’t matter. It’s an addiction. I have to quit cold turkey. You could give me one channel and I’ll watch it all night long.”
DN: “Well, we do have our smallest package…”
KT: “If I were an alcoholic would you offer me a drink?”
DN: “Okay ma’am, I’ll put a note not to charge you if you decide to come back. Have a nice day.” Click.

Jesus Christ, people. Seriously. I told her it was an addiction and she kept pushing it. I was actually starting to get angry because I was thinking of America in general and the pressure she was putting on, a somewhat strong-minded, stick-to-my-guns kind of person. I do think TV is an addiction, just like porn or cutting yourself. Am I wrong?

So, here we are. My first weekend without TV. You wanna know what I’ve done this morning? I’ve been going through my DVD’s and finding all the Hidden Features. (Baby steps, people, baby steps). My good friend Dave taught me about Easter Eggs. You go to the Main Menu of a DVD and with a certain up or down or over of the arrow you can sometimes find extra treats. For example, on the move Saved! there is a hidden feature of Michael Stipe doing a interview where he offers a limited opportunity to get saved. Pretty cute.

So go check out the webpage linked above and it will tell you where there are Easter Eggs on your movies. How fun.

And so begins my life without Cable and perhaps more blogging.