Today I called in sick to work for the first time since I got this job. There was one other day I was sick before, but in that case I left work part way through the day. I am fighting off a sore throat and wanted to make sure I rested up and got better so that when I teach tomorrow I wouldn’t lose my voice. What I used to do to beat colds was pump up on Vitamin C and Zinc, but now it’s having a bad effect on me.
I remembered that the last time I took the vitamins without food I got really nauseous. So this time I took them with my lunch. Didn’t matter. I ended up puking most of the afternoon. Needless to say this didn’t help my throat.
But you’re all probably wondering about the title of my post. Basically what I did with my day was go through my TiVo and watch all the things I had taped so I could delete them and make room for more. (Although for a sidenote here, I haven’t been watching as much TV as I used to and I’m pretty happy about that.) One of the things I had taped was called “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon” which is your typical shark movie.
I was going to just delete it, but I really wanted to see specific parts. I decided to fast-forward through the whole thing and just watch all the shark attack scenes. When I reached the well written and extremely plausible scene where the shark bites a hold of a parasailers cord and flies them out to sea and then swims deep to pull her out of the sky and into the water, I thought to myself, “Wow, this is just like porn? I’m just fast forwarding to the good stuff.”
Among other things I’ve taped over the last few months, which I may watch today or at least fast forward through:
-In the Company of Men
-A Chorus Line
-Many “Reno 911” episodes
-Mr. Show with Bob and David
-Colonial House
-The Office
-Arrested Development
-Doing Time on Maple Drive
-Strawberry Shortcake’s Adventure
-The Irish Tenors
-Law & Order: SVU
And numerous other things that taped accidentally because I thought I was taping something else. In all, lots of crap. Cheers.
For the sake of clarity what the authoress is alluding to is the so-called “money shot”. No mention as to whether she was sipping “the whiskey” from a flask as she went, but my God this is a dangerous amoral person with bizzarre tastes who I would like very much to have on a leash.
Ah yes, the money shot. I described my day to my sister and when telling her I did describe the shark attacks as the equivalent of a money shot. Never doubt that this ex porn store employee wouldn’t remember that terminology. As for the leash, hmmmm kinky. 🙂
There was a time when I loved Animal Planet, especially the shark shows. I would watch them with the innocent, wholesome bloodlust that is the birthright of every American.
But now, after reading this screed from Toft, I happened upon a shark show and experienced a thoroughly un-American, un-wholesome surge of arousal.
Curse you and your perversion, Toft. You’ve RUINED Animal Planet for me! You are a sick, depraved individual. Please take the earliest opportunity to avail yourself of one of the many talented psychiatrists currently practicing here in our fine country. (And by “avail yourself,” I DON’T mean “go molest a psychiatrist.”)
KT- Would the anti-Freud expression, sometimes a shark is just a shark apply to this entry?
“in the company of men” disturbing but great movie. no happy ending! nice. from the guys that brought you “your friends and neighbors”. don’t fast forward through that one.
If you watch one thing on that list, it better be Arrested Development… damn I want my own tivo… 🙁 Are you coming to Portland this weekend with me?
To clarify, some of those shows I already love and watch religiously (i.e. Arrested Dev., Reno 911! and The Office). While others I taped haphazardly. As for “In the Company of Men,” I am a devout Neil LaBute fan and mainly like to rewatch those whenever I can. Anyone who will make a movie without any background music that relies soley on the writing, and then succeeds in creating a work of genius, hits the top of my list.