Today when she jumped up for attention, I was watching movie previews on Quicktime as usual. This works out well for us because I don’t have to do anything but pet her while the trailer plays. She is never interested in the computer, just where my hands are and they better be scratching her head or the spot on her back right by her tail.

Today however I discovered that Tasha cannot wait for the movie Ice Age 2 to be released. For the first time ever, she sat up, stared at the screen and watched the entire trailer. I followed her eyes and she was seriously watching that little rascal try and get his acorn out of the ice glacier. And just when I thought she couldn’t possibly know what she was watching, the title of the movie came in and she settled back down for me to pet her, knowing that the trailer was over. Hmmm…

Then after having enough of me (and she tells me this by attacking my hand) she fixated on one of my hair rubberbands for a few minutes before executing her plan to pick it up in her mouth, carry it over to a corner of my room, and play with it for the next 45 minutes. God I wish I were a cat.

The few things that excite me these days are what I’m having for dinner (wait, I’ve always been interested in that), curling up with my sister’s cat, and my new Jeopardy calendar that quizzes me every day. As a matter of fact, my new cube mate at work has to help me exercise restraint when checking the calendar because I just want to keep ripping off days and answering questions. Someone is always helping me with my lack of willpower.

I should say I have plans for the year. Not resolutions. But some plans I’ve had for a while that just happen to coincide with a new year on the calendar. So here is a short list of some thoughts.

1. Take guitar lessons (really, seriously, find someone, get a referral, anything)
2. Learn to sew (Jay is good for this sort of thing, I already stole my mom’s sewing machine)
3. Sew the quilt for Jay in time for his October birthday (which means the last week of September Maria or Leah will be telling me, “I told you it would take longer than two weeks, forget it.”)
4. Check out the local pool in order to do cardio during the winter (the beauty of this is that I only have to check it out, I don’t have to commit).
5. If pool falls through, check out local aerobics classes (or yoga, or pilates, or just stop sitting on your bed watching tv for a start).
6. Get the Book Club Review Web Site up and rolling (this is really just a motivation to relearn web design and css).
7. Visit Kris in Portland to have 1on1 Photoshop lesson (and eat Kornplatz oatmeal while there).
8. See if you can’t make that room in the basement something workable for guests and a getaway.
9. Or maybe just save some more money and buy your own damn place.
10. Come up with one more thing so you can have a nice list of ten things.

I will be spending the next month going to and from Bremerton on the hour long ferry every morning for work. I am not happy about this. The upside is that I am working in the Behavioral Health building/department and they are always more fun. Or maybe I just like being that close to people who are more messed up than I am. Then again, are they?

Lastly, for the record, I am content. I may sound down and out, but life is good. I love living with my sister Marie and I know my job is a relatively good one as jobs go. I miss my walks with Michelle, but as soon as the weather warms up a bit we’ll get back to them. I had an amazing visit to Boston and saw Kamala and Jennie (separately). And I think I may have mentioned that I went to my 10 year high school reunion and it was one of the best vacations I’ve had in a while. And to think I hadn’t even wanted to go.

So life is good. I’m just bored.

A few years ago when I came back from an exhausting trip moving Tonja to California and then back up again in a matter of four days, my parents told me, “Well, just think of all the hours of indulgences you earned.” This was met with my vacant stare. “Hours of what?” To their dismay, I knew nothing of this so-called reward for good deeds. From what I’ve gathered, we are all going to spend quite a bit of time in purgatory awaiting our entrance into heaven. By being a good person and doing right by god, you earn hours of indulgences, which translate into less time spent in purgatory. Now if I am wrong about this definition you can blame either my parents or my lack of listening to my parents. (Sidenote: I looked it up and if you read further down on this link it describes a similar idea.)

So, this brings us back to my blog. I feel guilty that I have had so much to say yet I have neglected my blog for almost two weeks. It’s sickening. The saddest part of all this is the fact I have now convinced myself that there is a place in purgatory especially for pathetic bloggers. In fact, instead of earning hours of indulgences, I believe for every day I don’t blog I will exponentially gain another day in purgatory. This is my plight.

Now for those who really know me, this all means nothing. The guilt I have is real, it’s achingly tangible, but I do not truly believe there is anything beyond this world that will punish me for the guilt I feel now. I believe the guilt is punishment enough. If you understood the effect guilt has had on me in my life, you would agree. Jeff and Scott always told me that I needed to stop feeling so guilty about things (i.e. not making it to someone’s party, not remembering things about people, not helping enough with something, not being able to pick someone up at the airport). Of course, both of them only said this when it involved the guilt I felt over other people, not them. Isn’t that always the way.

This was going to be an entry about my new amazing 30GB IPOD, but I will save that for tomorrow. Tonight I am working on instructions for The Toft Family website so my family members can upload pictures. Just ask Kris. I went about it the entirely wrong way. Don’t ever create instructions with pictures in a Word document if you intend on making it something like a webpage. Thank god for Scott B.’s class on making Word documents into PDF’s.

Now I must fill my gut because my guilt has eaten away at me and I am starving.

I’m trying to get my laundry done while making mix cd’s at the same time, but I keep Kazaaing things and waiting to see what my progress is. Needless to say, my laundry is sitting behind me wanting to be washed and wondering if I’m going to pull the ol’ “pack dirty laundry and hope to wash it on the road” trick.

But I can’t because I leave tomorrow for Trenton, New Jersey and I’m staying at my Uncle’s instead of a hotel. Some of you may say, “well then you’ll have a free way to do laundry so no worries,” but my pride won’t let me show up at my uncle’s with laundry to do. That would just perpetuate the family belief that I am forever the procrastinator and irresponsible Toft girl. …which may be true, but no need affirming it. At least the procrastinating part is true.

Meeting up with some BMGF pals for dinner at Snappy Dragon tonight. I hear it’s great, but I’ve never been. You know me, always excited about food. I’ll give a proper review when I return.

So here I am killing time until I fly out tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to get home. I have so much to do. And I get to see Dave! Yeah! I would have flown home tonight, but Dave is flying into Seattle from Oakland tomorrow morning so we figured it would be easier if we shared my town car back. So I held off flying home early. He better feel special.

I am officially addicted to reading and planning on writing Blog Lists. We have some great ones on there. Now I just need to contribute more. The problem is I find myself spending more time thinking about that and not about my blog.

My other problem is that I read everyone else’s blogs when I get on my computer, but then when I’m all done I’m too tired to write my own. My eyes and head start getting that computer ache.

My roommate sent me this crazy posting from Craig’s List and I’m starting to think maybe that’s what happened to our cat.

On an “I’m pathetic and watch too much TV” note, I saw a couple episodes of the Nashville/American Idol rip off show and I have to say, those are some talented bastards. They have a song writing tryout as well. So first they sing and then they sing their own original song. It’s been pretty cool to watch actually. A lot of them play instruments. American Idol now looks like the Mickey Mouse Club. Um….not that it wasn’t already like that.