Comments on: I’m Taking a Poll

By: Ted

Ted — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

We try to take vacations together, but it rarely works out. A weekend at the beach is probably the closest we’ve come, despite multiple attempts. We do, however, get together during most non-religious holidays, as well as a standing invitation to Sunday-dinner at Grandma’s (many make it every week). Fighting doesn’t happen in my family – any problems we have with each other are broached one-on-one when they occur and any fighting happens then. Not married yet, but since coming closer the family visits have become even more important.

By: RAR

RAR — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hi KT! Good to see you made it back from Hawaii safely. No shark attacks, I take it?

My large family has not taken a family vacation together in years. We try to meet up together for New Year’s and Fourth of July, and this year all of my siblings, all 6 plus the kids, made it to my parent’s for Easter, which is unusual. I, of course, was in Boston, particularly at Fenway watching the RedSox, on Easter. Go fig.

This year, however, I have managed to miss every single holiday, but for some reason, I have been okay with that. I will be around for Christmas, but will pprobably be in Orlando watching the Boilers for the bowl game. Missing seeing siblings I have not seen in a year. Next sumkmer we are supposed to take a family vacation to N.C. but I probably won’t go, as I might try to get my butt to Seattle that week. 🙂

Our family is dysfunctional. We don’t talk to each other. I hate that. I want to make an effort now that I get older. I guess I need to make an appearance at family events then??

By: David

David — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hi Katie,

long time no email. I can’t answer the first question since it’s been about 24 years since all of us, parents, sister and I did something together, and with divorce and the kids leaving the country, that probably didn’t make any of that any easier.

My sister and I separately see our mother probably once a year, and it’s my turn next Saturday when I’m flying out to colder regions.

I have found 10 days to be an acceptable period to spend with your beloved mother. Any more than that and you’re reduced to feeling like a teenager who dreams about massacring their parents.

Any less than 10 days isn’t worth my while with flights to Europe not always being the cheapest – well, maybe I’m just crap at finding the great deals everybody keeps telling me about. Ho hum.

‘Hope that helps.. Email soon!

David

By: Theresa

Theresa — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I cannot get that time back — my new favorite phrase. And I think it is quite appropriate in response to your questions. I also find it useful after long meetings with people talking so that they can hear themselves talk.

So, to answer your question(s) –
No family vacations here. I think we know better. There are family visits however. In fact I will be back on the “left” coast for the week between Christmas and New Years. This requires very intentional planning however. I arrive with a clear agenda, because I know what our “family tolerance factor” (FTF) is. The unfortunate part is that others live in some kind of suspended reality where they seem to forget past interludes and dream of sugar plums and Christmas Carols by the fire. We all know that doesn’t actually happen. And if it does, it is fabricated with an undercurrent of tension as we all recall our checkered past of holiday experiences.

Lastly, I don’t know who said it, but having a buffer is sometimes a good idea. Just be careful — you don’t want to subject folks to unnecessary roughness!!

cheers – theresa

By: Gretchen

Gretchen — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

We have never had the money to take a vacation all together, but we all usually congregate at my parents’ house for Christmas every year. We have a very high tolerance for each other it seems as we usually spend anywhere from 1-4 weeks together and are sad when we part. As far as fighting, it used to be only my dad and I who fought but in recent years I have passed the “annoy dad” torch off to my little brother who takes it to a whole new level. Someone’s gotta do it.

By: Kirstin

Kirstin — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

At Thanksgiving this year we finished a 1000 piece puzzle in one night. A new record. We have an understanding that no politics or other issues that we might disagree on will be discussed at the dinner table. Any fighting (which hasn’t really happened since we got out of school and mom quite harassing us about our grades) typically happens in the car. Don’t ask me why. We haven’t had a “family vacation” since my sister got married a few years ago, but that last one was terrific. The only time that my family has travelled without it being some kind of whirlwind educational experience. My experience is that family just gets better and easier as everyone ages.

By: Aaron

Aaron — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hey, I just noticed, upon rereading this post, the language KT uses: not “could everyone please reply” or “I’d appreciate it if people would reply.” Nope, it’s “I WANT everyone to reply.”

Typical Katie. Bossy wench…:P

By: Max

Max — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I haven’t taken a vacation with my entire family in YEARS. We were all together in WI in 2000 for the first time since 1977. Seriously, we can’t be in the same room together. (all of us together that is- half of us don’t get a long and that’s an understatement).

We do tend to fight a lot but get over it easily. My mother drove me NUTs this past Thanksgiving.

I am going to FL for Christmas – I go pretty much every year. It wears me out and it’s challenging to keep frustration in check. My family is big on presents and I am not so that’s challenging.

By: maria

maria — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

We did have one doozy of a fight on one of our trips to Hawaii together, but even that was a couple of Hawaiian vacations ago. Sharon was there, and she didn’t like it. I find that now that she is at every family event I am less likely to fight with my dad (as it makes Sharon very uncomfortable), or he is less likely to fight with me, or maybe we have both matured? (never did fight much with my mom or brother since “adulthood”) Don’t know why, but it keeps getting better and better. Now that there are kids, the fighting has virtually stopped. I think part of it may be that it is not OK with me to fight with my dad in from of my son. Or maybe my dad is better behaved in front of my son? Or maybe we are all just maturing and not taking everything so personally.

Bottom line: we used to fight all the time and now we hardly ever do, and we do vacation together fairly frequently. I recommend getting married and having babies to solve all your problems : ) Ha.

By: Kris

Kris — Tue, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Not me. Well, we went on a few as a kid, but not any more.